Of Hospitals and Pizza Men
by Meredith T. Tasaki
Summary: Yugi is in the emergency room for a minor injury; Yami's thoughts. Varies from drama to humor to one slight bit of angst.


Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! does not belong to me. Coke is probably trademarked; I don't own that either.  
  
Note: Based on actual experience. So no one can tell me it's unrealistic. ^^;; Even the part about pizza guys. I guess it's kind of angst/drama/humor. Mostly the latter two. Yami's thoughts.  
  
~*~  
  
I don't believe it.  
  
Look! There's _another_ man with pizza! Granted, the first one apparently wasn't delivering to here, so I guess it isn't so bad... Doctors have to eat, you know... I think I've forgotten a little about that...   
  
This is absolutely insane. Over there, college students. Listen to them! Listening to all the chatter in here, you'd think it was a restaraunt or something! What the hell are _they_ here for, that they can talk like that?!  
  
My gods, even them. I don't believe it, I don't believe it. Who the hell _cares_ what color her mom's painting her room, who the hell gives a _damn_ about Mai's new lipstick?!   
  
It's a coping mechanism--it must be. That has to be it, that and it _can't_ be serious, if they're talking like this. It _can't_ be serious, I must have it wrong, it obviously isn't what they were saying it might be. It must be something almost everyday--no one could be that callous--they care about him too--it can't be important. Can't be.  
  
Truly. Medicine has improved to the point of magic. It must be absolutely nothing nowadays. It must be just a broken arm, or they'd be making more fuss. --They'd be making more fuss if it _was_ a broken arm--no, it's been thousands of years; what was serious then must be nothing now.   
  
Oh, there's Grandpa... He looks pretty awful. What if-- SHUT! UP!  
  
The cafeteria? They have a cafeteria in a HOSPITAL? What the hell _is_ this place?!   
  
Oh, they're right. I barely even noticed. He _should_ eat something. So they _do_ notice _some_ things. Just a few... --; The conclusion is inescapable. What am I supposed to think? But he never did like me saying that about them... _He still does not_...  
  
Oh. Elevators. Damn, I didn't even notice we were here. What? Taking a long time? The stairs are right bloody over there... They hadn't noticed that yet?!   
  
These stairs are _strange_... There's that smell like we're above a dumpster... The odd light and all the _echoes_...  
  
Now they're wondering where the cafeteria is. When there are very large signs above their heads. Sigh. I shouldn't be surprised, you know... What else could I expect? Maybe they speak Spanish. I doubt I'd know the difference. Waitasec... Maybe I'm speaking Spanish right now... Heaven knows I wouldn't know the difference if it hooked itself on my hair and dangled in front of my face... For the longest time I assumed aibou didn't listen to a word I said because he spoke a different language... Then I learned I apparently spoke it too... So crazy.  
  
_Doughnuts_?!   
  
I don't believe it. Look at this place. (Awfully irresponsible to sell ice-cream bars in a _hospital_...) It _is_ a cafeteria! Little chicken strips in plastic boxes, mashed potatoes, all sorts of other things--what _is_ that? I guess I don't have much experience in the world...   
  
And look at that, Tristan and Téa are trying to get him to eat something more than a corn dog... They're trying to give him some money... This is ludicrous!   
  
Oh dear, I sound insane. I know I do, why don't I stop laughing? They're _looking_ at me... They don't understand how it's funny... It's so crazy! It's so surreal, it's so absolutely improbable! It's just that everything is skewed, like champagne and chocolates at a funeral, like a party when you lose a war, crazy inexplicable lightness when something all too serious is happening. Like...  
  
Thank the gods, I've stopped. That sounded insane, I sounded insane. Maybe I am. No... Well, if I am, it didn't start then. Though the thought that all this is some insane delusion _has_ come to me before. But I know it isn't. Still, it could be...  
  
_But it isn't_.  
  
Oh dear gods. They want me to _eat_.  
  
I'm a _spirit_, have they forgotten? No thanks, I had a snack four thousand years ago, that'll tide me over.   
  
Oh no, aw, what the hell is _that_?! And why are they giving me so damn much?  
  
Macaroni and cheese? I thought that was more of an orange color...  
  
Great. There are two types of macaroni and cheese: stove-top and casserole. Wonderfully useful piece of knowledge. Maybe I can take that high-school aptitude test now. Of _course_ that was sarcastic.  
  
Oh no, now they're getting me something to drink as well. I'm _not hungry_. I am _not_. What's worse... I don't know what will happen if I try to eat.  
  
But what if the energy _doesn't_ just go to Yugi.  
  
Arrgh. NO, I do NOT have an adventurous spirit, thank you very much. And 'scientific curiosity' can kiss my--  
  
Oh come on, Yugi's heard _you_ use that expression a thousand times...  
  
Heh heh heh. I love catching hypocrisy in the act.  
  
Look at that... They even have an ice-cream dispenser. Hey! Chocolate chip cookie dough!... Oh, that's what they could have but don't at the moment... Damn. Yugi loves Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough... Slightly more than he loves _all_ ice-cream... He likes 'Cookies and Cream' more though...  
  
Glory be, I've been using the present tense. Thank the gods.  
  
What? You're paying? For _this_? I don't even _want_ this!   
  
I am NOT making a scene, I'm calmly stating my opinions!!  
  
Why'd you bother paying for it? I don't _want_ it.  
  
No. I am _not_ eating it.  
  
_Flamethrower_?!?! Well! If you put it that way...  
  
This is _so_ damn surreal. Yugi's down there with gods-_know_-what wrong with him and they're all focused on making me eat this pile of what they _call_ food but looks more like some really weird new building material. Thinking of it, you actually probably _could_ build with this stuff. I wonder how well it would hold up?  
  
All right, I'm eating, I'm eating!  
  
Gakpth! What the hell _is_ this?! Shh, choke it down, I wouldn't put using a flamethrower on the Puzzle past them...  
  
Gaak. I guess it isn't so bad; I think just about _anything_ would make me sick at the moment. After four thousand years or whatever it's been... I'm surprised I still remember how to eat... It must be a subconsious thing, like not speaking Egyptian...  
  
This comes from Italy? You mean the place with Rome? X_X THOSE STUPID *&%#$%_@&% ROMANS, THEY--  
  
Ow! What was _that_ for?!  
  
Who said I _wasn't_ insane? All right, all right. Stupid damned Romans...  
  
Why do I hate them? Don't you read any history?! Oh wait, I'm talking to Tristan, he probably doesn't. Romans _conquered_ Egypt, you moron.  
  
Yeah, I found out when we tried to figure out how old I am... Though I don't know why I particularly hate Rome... Gods, looking back on it from here, Egypt is _such_ a wussy country... How many people conquered it... _Seven_...  
  
Then again... In a way... Make that eight...  
  
Damn, I remember again. But they're still staring at me. WHY did they give me so much of this?  
  
Do I _have_ to eat it all?  
  
All _right_, all _right_... It may be just me, but I don't think I've ever had _anything_ that can be so nauseating when you don't want to eat it... Never again....  
  
Hey, this 'Coke' stuff _is_ good... Even if it looks like sewage... AAUGH! Sugar headache! X-X  
  
'Sugarhigh'? What's a 'sugarhigh'? No, I _don't_. I get headaches. I don't know, maybe I'm diabetic. How the hell would I know.  
  
Yes... That must be it, I don't have as high a tolerance for this sugar and caffiene as you do... Though I predict I will eventually... Especially if you keep making me eat...   
  
Yes, I'm finished. I was ready to leave before we _began_... I think I have a right to be touchy... For the love of--would you guys _stop_? Who _cares_? He's going to repay you whether you like it or not, isn't that _obvious_? The game shop isn't _that_ close to bankruptcy...  
  
No! Not close at _all_! Truly! Look, can we just get back now?! PLEASE?  
  
Thank you...  
  
Hmm. Should I tell them which way we came? Nah... They'll figure it out sooner or later...  
  
No sense of direction at all... I guess in a way, I don't either... I guess in a way, I miss exactly the things they miss, don't know exactly what they don't know. Just in more important ways...  
  
Oh my goodness! They actually managed to find the stairs! It's a miracle!   
  
Okay, maybe I'm being overly sarcastic. I don't really give a damn. Who's going to be angry? Who's going to strike me down? Who the hell is going to _care_ if I'm bitter or sarcastic?  
  
I mean, besides Yugi. --I mean, who will _know_.  
  
...Only _we_ would be stumped trying to re-enter a room we left just half an hour ago. Only us.   
  
Hmm. Ah look! It's a _sign_! 'Push red button to re-enter Emergency Room'. Red button? What the--ah. There it is. On the wall.  
  
Hmm. They figured it out only a few seconds after I did. Not bad, not bad.   
  
Tell me. Why the hell do you care if someone goes into the emergency room? Why a security system? Why one so transparent? What _good_ does it do? Besides aggravating the hell out of worried people who are busy trying to worry...  
  
Hmm. It's quieter now. Maybe the damned college students left. Or maybe someone died.  
  
STOP BEING SO DAMN PARANOID. Nothing is wrong! He's FINE, I'd know if he wasn't! This is _nothing_! I know that, why can't I believe it?  
  
Dear gods, it's another pizza man! That makes _three_! Who the hell keeps ordering pizza? Granted, it's a different _kind_ of pizza, but for crying out loud. This is getting ridiculous.  
  
What am I saying. It already was.  
  
Seven-thirty. The show's half over. Too bad Yugi had to miss it. Maybe I should turn the channel on that TV to it... But that wouldn't be a good idea... Too many people in here... Probably don't have the channel anyway...   
  
Ah. Someone _else_ is having trouble with that damn door. Stupid idea, utterly stupid. Someone should shove a stick in there to keep the door from closing. A little act of rebellion against governmental stupidity.   
  
They say that all of human history has been a battle between wisdom and stupidity...  
  
They say Wisdom keeps losing...  
  
...Another pizza man... That makes four, from three companies...  
  
I'm not going to think about that...  
  
YUGI!  
  
Oh thank heavens!   
  
Just a broken arm. Okay. And you're sure it's nothing serious? Positive? _Completely_ sure? Absolutely--  
  
I don't see what's so funny...  
  
Or maybe I do...  
  
But you're sure you're okay. I am _not_ overreacting! People can _die_ from things like this!  
  
...They can't? Really? How delightful! It's progressed _that_ much?  
  
Well, I haven't exactly had means to become accquainted with modern medicine.   
  
(I don't really know all that much about _ancient_ medicine but gods know I'm not saying _that_.)  
  
So you're okay. Yes, yes, I know I already said that. I'm sorry. Um, they made me drink this 'coke' stuff and it sabotaged my brain. You're okay. Right. I can't think.   
  
He means _way_ too much to me.  
  
Hmm? I was worried? Mmm... _Technically_ I could deny it... (Wouldn't dare to, though...)   
  
How was _I_? Are you crazy? Nothing _happened_ to _me_.   
(Besides what happened to you.)   
  
I wasn't the one injured.   
(Maybe sanity and pride, but that is _it_.)   
  
Stop worrying about other people so much; _you're_ the one who got hurt.   
(And you're the only one who needs a reminder.)   
  
_FUN_?! Being in the hospital?! Worrying about you?!   
(Oh lord, I said that out loud, didn't I)   
  
No, I wasn't _that_ worried!   
  
(Gods, what happens when it _isn't_ just a broken arm? When it _is_ what I couldn't help worrying it was? When he--dies? What happens to me? Do I get to go with him, or... Am I stuck in a shattered puzzle for a few more millenia... A whole new alien culture, a whole new person to be scared to death of me... Maybe Yugi again; incarnations work that way. Maybe I'd even have forgotten, maybe they'd have taken _that_ memory away from me, maybe they'll leave me with nothing _again_ and it would be even worse because I have so much _more_! And then to protect, to remember, to betray, to wait, to live again, and then to see him die again and know exactly what I know now, that it will never end... And then to forget again, to feel the pain just as terribly every single time until infinity ends... _No_...NO!...)  
  
What? Forgive me, I was lost in my thoughts...   
  
Yes, I was worried...  
  
No... It wasn't all that bad...  
  
Yugi, let's just go home...  
  
Let's just go _home_...  
  
~*~ 


End file.
